You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
