I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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