So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
