Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
