i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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