turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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