We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
