I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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