I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize