sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
