So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You are the jesus of drinking
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
