i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
