We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
