I love having hate sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
