I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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