is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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