i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
