that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
