She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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