We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize