if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
