i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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