I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
