never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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