he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
