ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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