i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so let's talk penis.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
