i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
