I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
