If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You did what with his pubic hair?
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