so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
