my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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