Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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