I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
