he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
