Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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