Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
