I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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