Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
