woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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