Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
