no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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