Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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