Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
