Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
