What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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