Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
