Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
