Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
