Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize