you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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