You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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