Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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