Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
