You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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