I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
