i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
